Human sexuality is part of human nature—we are all sexual beings.

In this context, a critical question is this: By whose design am I experiencing and expressing my sexuality?

We work with people who want to learn and live God’s design for sexuality. 

You can heal and recover from sexual abuse!
You can break free from sexual addictions!
You can experience healthy sexuality!

Join Our Email List

Recent Posts

Evil—Part 2: Why Doesn't God Stop Bad Stuff From Happening?

11/7/2023 10:00:00 AM BY Dr James H Dotson Jr

On my journey through life, I’ve experienced bad stuff. Three questions come to mind for me as I consider my reality and the reality of millions around the world who are living with far worse challenges than I am: 1) Why does bad stuff happen? 2) Why doesn’t God stop bad stuff from happening? 3) How do I live with/in the midst of bad stuff?

Join me as I continue to explore with you the answers to these questions in a 3-part series. I need to let you know up front that my answers will reflect both my lived experiences and biblical perspectives, as I seek to understand and live my life in harmony with the love and truth of God.

This is Evil–Part 2, where I focus on the second question: Why doesn’t God stop bad stuff from happening? But before continuing, let me suggest that you first review Evil–Part 1: Why does bad stuff happen? Then, return and continue reading here.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

There is absolutely no question whatsoever that suffering and pain and injury and disease and death and evil and crimes against humanity are bad.

How I sincerely wish that Adam and Eve, our first human ancestors (Genesis 1:26-31), had rejected the deception of Satan and obeyed God. But they didn’t. They gave ear to Satan and followed his way. And with that decision, bad stuff—sin and evil—became part of our human reality (Genesis 2:15-17 and Genesis 3:1-24). 

Another consequence that followed is that we—human beings—began engaging in all manner of evil. We have done and continue doing lots of bad stuff. Here’s how the Bible describes us.

Turning our attention to the daily news and other non-biblical, historical sources, there we’ll find a record of us engaged in WW1, WW2, and ongoing wars around the world; imperialism and colonialism; parents mistreating their children; children dishonoring their parents; murdering; committing adultery; stealing; lying; giving false testimony in court; trafficking other human beings; sexually exploiting other human beings; carjacking; beating up our partners; fraud, identity theft, and cybercrimes; pornography; pimping and prostitution; and I could go on and on with a long list of other crimes and evil that we—human beings—commit.

The premise of the question—Why do bad things happen to good people—is that we are good people and that bad things should not happen to good people. While that’s a heartwarming thought, we are not good people. We are all born sinners, with a sinful nature and tendencies to sin—following our natural, sinful inclinations and yielding to the evil propagated by Satan. 

Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad People?

So, in truth, the more appropriate question is to ask is this: Why do good things happen to bad people—people who at their core (thoughts, feelings, speech, and actions) are sinners?

Here’s the deal. While some might consider me a “good” person, the fact is that I am a sinner—I have disobeyed God, I have done bad stuff, and I have contributed to the evil of this world. The wages due for sin is death (Romans 6:23). That being the case, I should be dead. And really, anyone who has sinned—and that would be all of us (Romans 3:23)—should be dead.

While from a human perspective we may consider some to be good, from God’s perspective we are all sinners. 

Yet, God still extends his love to us.

But God goes beyond being kind and compassionate to us. God offers me—and any one else who will accept it—a solution to overcoming the evil in me and the evil in/of this world. Consider this good news:

  • “Let me now remind you, dear brothers and sisters, of the Good News I preached to you before. You welcomed it then, and you still stand firm in it. It is this Good News that saves you if you continue to believe the message I told you—unless, of course, you believed something that was never true in the first place. I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said.” (1 Corinthians 15:1–4, NLT)
  • “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.”” (Revelation 21:1–5, NLT)
  • For more, also consider John 1:12-14, 10:17-18, 14:1–3, 14:6; Acts 10:43; Romans 4:25, 5:8, 5:15-19, 8:110:9-11; 1 Corinthians 15:50-58; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Ephesians 2:8-9; Colossians 1:13-14, 2:9; 1 Peter 2:22-24; and 1 John 2:2.

While Adam and Eve messed up big time, any person who believes and puts their faith in Jesus Christ may overcome the condemnation of sin, receive the gift of eternal life, and inherit a new me (immortal and incorruptible) together with a new heaven and a new earth (free of bad stuff) at the second coming of Jesus Christ. 

That’s the gospel—the good news—of Jesus Christ available to any person who will believe it and receive it. 

Is God Silent About Evil in/on the Earth?

Okay, so there will be a new heaven and a new earth and a new me at the second coming of Jesus Christ. What about until the second coming of Jesus Christ? Is God silent about evil?

Some say, yes. I say, no, and here are three reasons why.

First, God is ensuring that the good news—the gospel of Jesus Christ—is shared with all so that we have opportunity to choose eternal life. God is not silent. He’s giving us time to get ready for the end. 

  • “Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately. Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come. “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.” (Matthew 24:4–14, NLT)
  • “Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”” (Matthew 28:18–20, NLT)

Second, God has promised that at the end of the age—God’s timetable, not ours—he will remove evil from the Earth. God will bring an end to Satan and any who choose to follow after Satan. 

  • “When the thousand years come to an end, Satan will be let out of his prison. He will go out to deceive the nations—called Gog and Magog—in every corner of the earth. He will gather them together for battle—a mighty army, as numberless as sand along the seashore. And I saw them as they went up on the broad plain of the earth and surrounded God’s people and the beloved city. But fire from heaven came down on the attacking armies and consumed them. Then the devil, who had deceived them, was thrown into the fiery lake of burning sulfur, joining the beast and the false prophet. There they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” (Revelation 20:7–10, NLT)
  • “And I saw a great white throne and the one sitting on it. The earth and sky fled from his presence, but they found no place to hide. I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God’s throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. The sea gave up its dead, and death and the grave gave up their dead. And all were judged according to their deeds. Then death and the grave were thrown into the lake of fire. This lake of fire is the second death. And anyone whose name was not found recorded in the Book of Life was thrown into the lake of fire.” (Revelation 20:11–15, NLT)

God has a plan that he’s been working—and still is working—since the “fall” of Adam and Eve to redeem us from the sin and evil and death that is part of the human condition as a consequence of the deception and disobedience of Adam and Eve. The Bible lays out that plan: the continuous and continuing story of God working on behalf of us—humanity. God is not silent. He’s moving us closer and closer to the time when evil will be no more.

Finally, while it may appear to some that God lets bad stuff happen unchecked, biblical history and modern history will not support that assumption. In fact, from the first book of the Bible (Genesis) to the last book of the Bible (Revelation), we will find many accounts of where God held people accountable for their sins and evil.

Space does not allow here a comprehensive review of all such accounts. But consider just these three examples. 

  • The Flood: Earlier in human history, sin and wickedness reached the point when God sent a flood and destroyed all but eight persons on the Earth and then started over (Genesis 6:1—Genesis 8:22
  • Ananias and Sapphira: This married couple conspired to lie about a commitment they made. They voluntarily and publicly offered to sell property they had and donate the money to the church to help those in need. Then, privately they decided they would keep back a portion of what they said they would give but declared that what they donated was the full amount of what they said they would give. Peter called them out on their lie, and both dropped dead on the spot for lying to the Holy Spirit. (Acts 5:1-11)
  • Saul: On his way to Damascus to continue his vigorous persecution of the early Christian church, Saul of Tarsus was knocked off the animal he was riding and made temporarily blind as he was asked by Jesus “Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:1-19)

“The LORD is slow to get angry, but his power is great, and he never lets the guilty go unpunished. …” (Nahum 1:3, NLT) … “For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.” (2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT)

No human being is God, and so no human being can know all of what God is doing about evil on the Earth. We’ve got to swallow a generous dose of humility to recognize and accept this reality. God is the Sovereign King, not any one of us, and he made that perfectly clear to Job when he was going through horrific times in his life (Job 38:1—Job 42:6). 

God is not silent about evil. History confirms it, and I can testify to it in my own life. 

But the who, what, why, when, where, and how God deals with evil are up to God, not us. Sometimes we will see it, know it, and understand it. And sometimes we will not. 

But, What’s The Answer to the Question???

But, you say, you still haven’t answered the question: Why doesn’t God just stop bad stuff from happening—now?

God could do that by removing our freedom of choice and forcing us to do exactly what he wants us to do—essentially making us robots or subjects of an autocrat or dictator. But that’s not the kind of relationship God wants with us. He wants a loving relationship with us.

Or God could zap us dead whenever any one of us commits a sin. If God did that, there would be no human beings left on planet Earth! Instead, God loves us so much that he has been, is now, and will continue working his plan to save us from our sins. 

There WILL BE!!! a final end of sin and evil and death and Satan and any one who follows after Satan. But before that happens, our longsuffering God wants to give us all the opportunity to make a choice. The choice is straightforward: accept God’s gifts of salvation and the inheritance of a new heaven, new earth, and new me OR reject God’s gifts and face the consequences—condemnation and eternal destruction for our sins. (Matthew 25:31-46; Romans 2:6-8; Revelation 20:1—Revelation 21:8.) God gave us—humanity—freedom of choice. So, each one of us gets to choose. 

For More Information

For notifications of upcoming blogs and other TFT updates, go to our Home page and Join Our Email List.

For more information about sexuality, wellness, and change, visit our TFT Online Resource Center.

Contact Us to schedule TFT life coaching, communications, or consulting services.

Copyright © 2023 Training for Transformation, Inc. All rights reserved.

Evil—Part 1: Why Does Bad Stuff Happen?

10/23/2023 10:00:00 AM BY Dr James H Dotson Jr

On my journey through life, I’ve experienced bad stuff. Three questions come to mind for me as I consider my reality and the reality of millions around the world who are living with far worse challenges than I am: 1) Why does bad stuff happen? 2) Why doesn’t God stop bad stuff from happening? 3) How do I live with/in the midst of bad stuff? 

Join me as I explore with you the answers to these three questions in a 3-part series. I need to let you know up front that my answers will reflect both my lived experiences and biblical perspectives, as I seek to understand and live my life in harmony with the love and truth of God. 

This is Evil–Part 1, where I focus on the first question: Why does bad stuff happen?

First, Three Important Points

Let me begin by sharing three related points that provide the context for my answer to this first question.

First, God began by making the Earth perfect without evil.

  • “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1, ESV
  • “… And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. … Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.” (Genesis 1:2–2:3, ESV

Second, at creation God gave humans freedom of choice.

  • “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”” (Genesis 2:16–17, ESV)

Third, a powerful and high-ranking angel in Heaven led a rebellion against God in Heaven. He lost and was thrown out of Heaven and came down to the Earth with a third of the angelic host who joined him in the rebellion. Then, beginning with our first parents Adam and Eve, he—Satan, the devil, the ancient serpent, the great dragon—leads these fallen angels to propagate evil in the world.

  • “Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.” (Revelation 12:7–9, ESV)
  • “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” (Genesis 3:1–7, ESV)

  • “But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3, ESV)
  • “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8, ESV)
  • “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12, ESV)

Now to the Question: Why Does Bad Stuff Happen?

God created the human race with freedom of choice. Our original ancestors—Adam and Eve—yielded to the deception of Satan and chose to disobey God. The consequences of their disobedience were death, the loss of their perfect home (an Earth originally free from evil), and the start of an ongoing conflict with Satan who wants to destroy us all (see Genesis 2:15—3:24).

Bad stuff happens because evil entered our world as a result of this first or original sin (disobeying God) and because Satan and his crew of fallen angels continue to propagate evil in our world. Thus, the reality of our human condition today includes pain, suffering, death, crying, mourning, and all manner of other bad stuff that worsens as time passes.

So, Is That It?

Will bad stuff always be a part of our lives; are we bound to live with evil forever? Is there a solution to the ongoing onslaught of trouble and setbacks and evil in the world? Pain and suffering and grief hurt!!! What am I supposed to do in the midst of it all? Why doesn’t God do something about it? 

Continue with me as we explore these valid questions in Evil–Part 2: Why doesn’t God stop bad stuff from happening? and Evil–Part 3: How do I live with/in the midst of bad stuff?

For More Information

For notifications of upcoming blogs, events, and other TFT updates, go to our Home page and Join Our Email List.

For more information about sexuality, wellness, and change, visit our TFT Online Resource Center.

Contact Us to schedule TFT coaching, communications, or consulting services.

Copyright © 2023 Training for Transformation, Inc. All rights reserved.


In the Midst of Life’s Realities - the Good and the Bad - What Keeps Me Going?

6/27/2023 10:00:00 AM BY Dr James H Dotson Jr

As I continue my journey through life, I have ups and downs, successes and failures, experiences that are good and experiences that are bad. Sometimes life goes the way I’d like it to go, and sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes, stuff happens that saps my vigor and leaves me questioning the value of life. 

Nevertheless, when I’m asked “How are you?”, 9 times out of 10 my response is “Blessed!” Here’s what’s at the core of my journey through life—the why that keeps me going “one day at a time”.


There are most certainly “negatives” in my life. I have a brain tumor, I have lost vision in my left eye due to radiotherapy for that tumor, and I have also lost one kidney due to cancer. While there are most certainly negatives in my life, there are also most certainly positives in my life. I’ve come through two brain surgeries, I still have vision in my right eye, and I still have one kidney that works. 

I could say more about the negatives and the positives in my life—past and present—but suffice it to say that I have a choice where I place my focus. Although I do not at all ignore the negatives in my life, I choose to focus on the positives. I am keen to notice how I am blessed and for what and for whom I am thankful.

Daily, I seek to live with an attitude of gratitude.  


The human condition is a mixture of good and bad—that’s a fact. Therefore, I don’t expect my journey through life to be like running through a field of tulips. 

If I expected life to be all good all the time, I’d be continually disappointed, because that’s not reality. If I expected life to be all bad all the time, I’d be continually downcast and blind to the blessings that have come and are coming my way. I do neither.

Instead, I cultivate a mindset of realistic expectations. I actively and proactively rejoice with the positives, while constructively contending with the negatives. 


Jesus Christ invites me to put my trust in him on my journey through life and promises that if I do so all things will work together for my good. I believe him and have chosen to be a follower of Jesus Christ. I surrender my life to him. For me, that’s more than head knowledge. It’s an ongoing relationship—as with a best friend—going through life together. 

  • “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.” (1 John 4:9, ESV
  • “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:9, ESV
  • “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4–5, ESV
  • “But he said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”” (Luke 18:27, ESV
  • “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”” (John 16:33, ESV
  • “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, ESV

Each day on my journey through this life, I walk by faith with my Lord, my Savior, and my Friend Jesus Christ.


The Apostle Paul (Acts 9:1-19), wrote these words in a letter to a congregation of believers during the early history of the Christian church after Christ’s ascension to Heaven after his crucifixion and resurrection: “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” (1 Corinthians 15:19, ESV

If my hope for the future is in this life only, then I totally agree with Paul that I am “… most to be pitied.”  But my hope is not based in this life only. My hope is anchored in a new life to come: a new Heaven, a new Earth, and a new me to be—immortal and incorruptible—at the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. 

  • “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:2–3, ESV
  • “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”” (Revelation 21:1–5, ESV
  • “I tell you this, …: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”” (1 Corinthians 15:50–55, ESV

God is preparing a better future for me and that gives me hope to keep on keeping on. 


Until then, I must continue my journey in this life. But here’s the reality. I’m imperfect—I make mistakes, I mess up, I’ve got blind spots, sometimes I fail, and from time to time I miss blessings and mess up or sabotage great opportunities. 

Knowing this to be the case, I’m constantly on the lookout for opportunities to learn, grow, and change.

When I make a mistake, I try to learn from my mistake—lessons learned—so I don’t continue to walk the wrong way. When I’m facing a tough situation or challenge, like being an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse or living with a tumor in my brain, I try to learn as much as I can about it, oftentimes getting professional help, so that I may make the most of that situation or challenge as I continue my journey through life.

So, rather than allowing challenges to define me or imprison me, I try to live to my full potential no matter what I’m dealing with in my life. 


And part of what energizes that motivation within me is my conviction that I’m here for a reason (Matthew 5:16; 1 Corinthians 12:1-7; Ephesians 2:10).

I believe that my life has a purpose. My vision is to fulfill that purpose—to live in such a way that it brings glory to God and benefit to others.

As long as I have breath, I endeavor to live on purpose during my journey through life here on this Earth.


And last, but by no means least, my friends are key to me continuing my journey through life. Indeed, where would I be without friends? When I’m successful, they rejoice with me. When I fail, they encourage me. When I need advice, they counsel me. When I’m wrong, they confront me and hold me accountable. When I’m down and out, they help me to get back up on my feet. When I’m facing a tough situation or challenge, they support me. 

And from time to time, we just get together to enjoy time with one another. 

Among my friends, I have a core group of three brothers I meet with weekly. We study the word of God together. We share updates on what’s going on in our lives. We share praise reports (stuff we’re thankful for). We share prayer requests (stuff we need help with). And we pray for each other. Their friendship is invaluable. I remember so well how both of them came from two different states to be present with me and lend a helping hand during my last brain surgery. I wouldn’t want to do life without these two God-honoring, Holy Spirit-filled, down-to-earth brothers.

Are we co-dependent? No, just three good friends supporting each other on our individual journeys through life—in both the good times and the bad times. 

Call to Action

Being thankful. Having realistic expectations. Surrendering my life in faith to Jesus Christ. Hoping for a better future at the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Seizing opportunities to learn, grow, and change, including reaching out for help when I need it. Living on purpose. Connecting with friends. This is what keeps me going amidst the realities of life—both the good and the bad. 

Try it. You may find this too helps you to keep going on your journey through life.

For More Information

For notifications of upcoming blogs and other TFT updates, go to our Home page and Join Our Email List.

For more information about sexuality, wellness, and change, visit our TFT Online Resource Center.

Contact Us to schedule TFT coachingcommunications, or consulting services.

Copyright © 2023 Training for Transformation, Inc. All rights reserved.