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Have you ever said something, done something, or missed an opportunity that you regret? You’re not alone. Most people have regrets about things in life. I know that’s true for me.
Regrets may arise related to education; work or career; relationships (e.g., parents, children, siblings, family, friends, significant others); health or self-improvement; finances; spirituality; and more.
With regrets, here are three key questions to answer. What can we do about it? How do we live a life with fewer regrets? How do we deal with the regrets we already have?
Let’s briefly explore these questions.
But first, let me define regret.
Regret is a self-focused negative emotion about something that has happened or been done by us.
We feel bad because we did or did not do something we believe we should or should not have done.
The negative emotions and the severity of those emotions vary depending on the person and the situation, but may include:
So, what do we do with our regrets? Consider these seven tips.
There is little to no benefit to denying or stuffing or repressing your regrets. Own them—not to be consumed by them but in order to learn, grow and change from them. It’s difficult to impossible to deal with regrets if not honestly acknowledged. There comes a point when it’s important, yes even essential, to say “I made a mistake.” “I messed up.” “I was wrong.”
If you can correct it or fix it or reclaim it, by all means do so.
If you committed a wrong against another person, confess, repent, and seek forgiveness—from God and from the person. Eliminate the “but”—no excuses or attempts to justify. Just acknowledge and ask for forgiveness. And, whenver possible, restore or replace the damage done.
BUT, be sure to respect the privacy of the other person. If they’ve asked you not to connect with them, respect their wishes. Or, if connecting with them would cause them further harm, stand down. In this case, speak or write a letter of confession—that you DO NOT send to the person—that you share in a safe and confidential setting.
If it’s an opportunity you missed or squandered, endeavor to reclaim it. If that’s not possible, focus on making the most of the life you have now.
Take a careful look at what happened. Look for lessons learned that you can apply to your life now and going forward to help you minimize repeats of what gave rise to your regrets. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Learn from your regrets and live wisely from the lessons you learn from them.
With regret, you tend to focus on negative emotions. Engage in activities or practices that generate positive emotions, like a hobby, or recreation, or meditating on the promises of God, or spending time with great friends.
With regret, you tend to focus on the past. Focus forward to pursuing your dreams and living your best life possible.
Let your modus operandi going forward be loving God as the first priority of your life and loving your neighbor as you love yourself as the second priority of your life (Matthew 22:36-40, NLT). Look for opportunities to lovingly serve others, e.g., engage in random acts of kindness. Living a life a love is very fulfilling and will help to replace your nagging thoughts of regret.
If/when your regret(s) reaches the point of being all-consuming and/or interfering with your “normal” day-to-day functioning, consider looking for help, for example: counseling; group therapy; or participating in a support group. And, equally important, invite God to equip you and empower you to live in his love, forgiveness, grace and mercy.
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It could be argued that the Bible is the most controversial book ever written and that more people have lost their lives over it than any other book. People swear by the Bible and vehemently swear against it. Most people have an opinion about it, and yet so few have read any of it, much less read it in its entirety.
The Bible speaks of a personal, loving God who “did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” It preserves so many comforting promises: such as, you are never alone because God “will never leave you nor forsake you.” The Bible tells us God is for you and not against you, He has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” It tells us who created the world, how it will end, and that we were made on purpose for a purpose.
But how do we know the Bible is telling the truth? What good are promises from a loving God and information about our beginning and end if the Bible can’t be trusted? What evidence is there that it is not just a fairytale or worse, a purposeful lie? Who wrote it? What is its purpose?
I’m glad you asked! Let’s explore some of these questions together.
The Bible not only reveals who God is, it exposes us. It presents us as loved but lost and reveals Jesus as the One who comes to find us. The Bible shows a God Who would rather die than be without us. It reveals Jesus as the One Who finds us and brings us back to God. Jesus Christ is the focus of the scriptures (Holy Bible).
Many people have read the Bible to extract rules for living that would assure that they could earn eternal life. But if reading the Bible doesn’t result in a relationship with Jesus, then the reader has missed the whole point. Jesus says this clearly to the Bible rule-followers of His day, “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.” (John 5:39–40, NIV)
Here are some interesting facts about the Bible:
More people risked their lives to allow others to have the opportunity to read it than for any other book.
Well, first, what does that even mean? “Inspired” comes from the Latin word spiritus, which means “Spirit” or “breath.” To be “inspired” is to breathe in. To “expire” is to have the breath of life leave. In a letter teaching his young protégé, Timothy, the Christian pioneer, Paul, writes, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, …” (2 Timothy 3:16, NIV)
So, the Bible defines scripture as “inspired,” because God Himself helped each of the 40 authors write. That is what gives the Bible it’s unique continuity in pointing to Jesus as the needed Savior. The historical context of what is written and how it fits into the themes of the whole Bible help us understand passages that are puzzling. Being “God-breathed” is also what makes the Bible personally relevant.
Some skeptical scholars have tried to dismiss the veracity of the Bible by claiming that its stories are mythical and not based in historical reality. They have pointed to details of biblical accounts that were, at the time, unsubstantiated by archaeology or other historical texts. However, time and again, new discoveries have shown biblical accounts to be centered in historical reality.
While the Bible is not a history book as we understand it today, there is solid historical evidence to support the Biblical accounts. As the discipline of archaeology has progressed, more and more finds have verified the accuracy of Biblical accounts. There are many examples of this. I will give only a few.
The Cyrus Cylinder was discovered in 1879. It provides independent support for the historicity of one of the central events in the biblical narrative, the return of the Jews to Jerusalem after being conquered by the Babylonians. The words carved on this stone cylinder record the unlikely deliverance of the Jewish captives by Cyrus. The cylinder corroborates the prophecy in Isaiah that Cyrus would make a decree to allow the rebuilding of Jerusalem (Isaiah 44:28, Isaiah 45:1). The cylinder was found to mirror the language as recorded in the book of Ezra, (for example in Ezra 1).
The gospel writer Luke’s account of the life and death of Jesus and the history of the early church is well-researched and meticulous. He interviewed people who knew Jesus personally, huperatai, or “eyewitnesses,” and his books, Luke and Acts, show a personal knowledge of cities, places, political figures, customs, etc. These are not fictitious. Not one of them has been shown to be historically inaccurate, and in fact, the more scholas have looked closely at his books, the more convinced they have become of their historical accuracy.
Biblical claims, such as the crucifixion of Jesus and the loyalty and persecution of His followers, have been corroborated by many outside sources, such as by the Jewish historian, Josephus, a contemporary of Jesus, and Tacitus, a Roman politician and ancient historian. These sources are highly regarded by modern-day scholars.
This is an important question. The writing of the Bible began and ended millennia before English became a language.
The Jewish scriptures or “Old Testament” were written primarily in Hebrew.
The books which record the coming of the prophesied Messiah, Jesus, and the early development of the Christian church are referred to as the “New Testament” and were written primarily in Greek.
So how do we know our English translation is accurate? One way came when two shepherd boys discovered the “Dead Sea Scrolls,” ancient manuscripts of 38 of the 39 books of the Old Testament. These manuscripts were written on sheepskin or papyrus paper, rolled up into scrolls, and placed in pottery jars. Comparison of the Dead Sea Scrolls with later manuscripts of the Old Testament show the carefulness with which they had been copied.
The accuracy is not just amazing, it seems miraculous. Another interesting aspect of these scrolls is that they contain prophecies that were fulfilled in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. These manuscripts were copied about 100 years before the birth of Jesus, which shows the prophecies were not “redacted” or added back in after the fact.
There were no printers or copiers in the ancient near east. When we speak of “manuscripts” we mean copies of the original that were written or “scripted” by hand (manu like “manual”). Scribes copied the originals and then copies of copies and copies of those copies were made by scribes.
So, what are the potential problems of handwritten copies? Well, if a mistake was made, it could continue to be copied from that time forward. What else? Someone could just add or delete whatever they wanted to the manuscript.
So again, how do you know that what was written in the copies that came down to us today was anything like the original? To answer that question, one must look at the ways that scholars attest to the accuracy of other ancient books.
Scholars compare copies with copies to see what, if anything, has changed. The more copies they have to compare, the better—and the closer the later manuscripts are to the original document and older copies, the easier it is to see where changes may have come in.
So, how does the Bible compare to other ancient manuscripts by this approach? Let’s look at three other ancient documents, well-known to scholars. You have already been introduced to the first two. The Annals of Imperial Rome by Tacitus is a key source for our present understanding of the history of the Roman empire. The Jewish War, by the Jewish-Roman historian, Josephus, is a primary source for scholars’ understanding of Jewish culture and Roman military tactics during the time of Jesus. The Iliad, the epic poem written by the blind Greek poet, Homer, has long been an honored source of insight into the values and mindset of the Greeks. No one thinks to challenge the veracity of these manuscripts.
How does the Bible compare to these books in terms of the number of manuscripts in existence and how close they are to the original document?
As you can see, the other Bible books are not even close in the number of manuscripts or nearness to the original. As for accuracy, the scholars, Norman Geisler and William Nix have concluded: “The New Testament, then, has not only survived in more manuscripts than any other book from antiquity, but it has survived in a purer form than any other great book, a form 99.5% pure.”
This impressive accuracy as well as the other significant things we have mentioned—the Bible’s cohesive unity over 1,600 years and 40 authors, the numerous fulfilled prophecies about Jesus, the Messiah and Savior, the well-substantiated historical context, and the power of this book to effect hearts and minds—are valid reasons we can have confidence that the Bible is trustworthy.
I would posit that the Bible is not only a trustworthy ancient book, but that it is the Word of God and alive.
The same Spirit that “inspired” or “breathed life” into the authors of the Bible as they wrote, is available to us to help us understand its original meaning as well as to help us see how it applies to our present circumstances. We don’t just read the Bible, it reads us. As it says in the book of Hebrews: “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12, NIV)
At the beginning of this blog, I wrote “Most people have an opinion about [the Bible], and yet so few have read any of it, much less read it in its entirety.”
I encourage you to be different. Read the Bible for yourself and form your own opinion. Tell God, “I’m going to give this a try. If You are out there, please reveal yourself to me. Please send the Holy Spirit to help me understand what is important for me to know right now. Please speak to me through these words.”
If you would like to do that, also let James know. He has some good tools that will help you become confident in understanding the Bible for yourself.
I can tell you personally that the Bible is my True North. It helps me understand Who God is and how to have a relationship with Him. The Bible gives me a way to view the world that makes sense to me, brings me comfort and instruction—and peace.
I am praying for you to pick up a Bible—for the first time or again—and am excited by the journey you are about to take. God will be right by your side, showing the way. “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119:105, NIV)
For more about the author, visit Confluence Grief and Loss Coaching and Consulting.
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When I came across Matthew 22:37, it made me stop in my tracks.
“‘… love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
What piece of me am I not loving God with? Am I wearing a mask in my relationship with God, let alone family, friends, and church members?
To love God with all our soul, means to unmask and be real with yourself. We need to face what’s broken and unhealthy inside of us.
As many have said, what cannot be named, cannot be healed. Once we’ve named or identified those places within our heart, we can surrender them and be healed.
Emotional wellness isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about being honest with ourselves and taking the necessary steps toward healing. A simple but powerful process to achieve this is using this equation:
Emotional Wellness = ITripleA or IA3, where I = Identify; A = Acknowledge; A = Accept; A = Act.
Emotional Wellness = Identify→Acknowledge→Accept→Act
Let’s walk through each step.
Step 1: Identify
The first step is to Identify the pain.
We need to take time to reflect and be honest with ourselves. We often go through life carrying emotional pain, struggles, and wounds without fully identifying them. Ask yourself: What are the things that keep me stuck? What are the things that prevent me from fully loving God and others? Consider whether it’s past hurts, toxic work or home environments, unresolved anger, fear, or even guilt.
Identifying the root of your emotions is the first step to healing.
Step 2: Acknowledge
Once we identify what is broken, we need to Acknowledge it.
This step requires courage. Acknowledging doesn’t mean staying stuck in the pain, but it’s about being real with yourself, and God. For example, a trusted friend asks, “Are you okay?” Instead of the automatic “I’m fine,” breathe and admit “I think I’m really stressed. I feel anxious all the time, and I don’t know how to slow down.”
This honesty removes the power of that hidden pain.
Step 3: Accept
The third step is to Accept.
This step is about accepting the flaw or brokenness within us. For instance, you might realize that a toxic friendship is draining you, but you’ve been avoiding the truth because you don’t want to let go. You can tell yourself, “This relationship isn’t healthy for me, and I need to set boundaries.”
We are not perfect or superheroes. It doesn’t mean liking the situation or issue that you are in. Rather, it means facing it so you can move forward.
Step 4: Act
The final step is to Act.
After identifying, acknowledging and accepting what’s wrong, you need to make changes. If stress is overwhelming you, start prioritizing rest and seeking help. If it’s a painful past, begin therapy, prayer, and forgiveness. If it’s an unhealthy relationship, take steps to distance yourself and find healthier connections.
Healing doesn’t just happen overnight, and it requires action on our part.
Key Takeaways
Remember, emotional wellness isn’t about ignoring pain, it’s about working through it!
When you follow the steps in the Emotional Wellness equation—Identify→Acknowledge→Accept→Act—then you open the door to healing, growth, and peace.
As you take this journey, be hopeful because you are … Beautifully Broken!!! As the song says:
Every tear, every doubt
Every time you’ve fallen down
When you’re hurting, feeling ashamed
When you’re numbing off your pain
When you’ve lost your way
And feel so far away
You’re not
You’re beautifully broken
And you can be whole again
Even a million scars doesn’t change whose you are
You’re worthy
Beautifully broken
…
Do not let past situations and traumas keep you from loving God with ALL your soul. He knows you are Beautifully Broken, so love yourself as you grow because God loves all of you!
For More Information
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Copyright © 2025 Training for Transformation, Inc. All rights reserved.